Can't believe it's been so long since I've posted, I've been busy and it seems like I don't know where my days are going. I feel quite hungry, my appetite has been almost nonexistent but now that it seems it's coming back I just don't know what I want to eat and I end up eating chips or biscuits which isn't good at all. Body pump 96 came out and I attended today but I don't like it as much as 95, the tracks just aren't as interesting. I really miss my husband...he's been able to call lately but still hasn't been able to come back and we don't know when we'll see him again.
So I received a call from the Hermes boutique saying that they will receive a constance with specifications desirable to me. But I rejected it because they said I would have to make purchases around 20% less of its price in order to be able to purchase it. And the purchases cannot be in bags. Bags are easy. I love bags. I want variations of bags I already have (leather, size, hardware, etc) but I can't randomly spend that type of money on a wallet I'm not sold on, or jewelry that I don't even like. It's ridiculous. In addition, they couldn't find my kelly wish from 2015 in order to adjust it to size 32. I find that really frustrating. I find myself not wanting the constance anymore. I still want a 32 kelly but I don't care- I'll wait till we go to Japan again and will try my luck there even if it means buying it from a secondary market. I wish I bought that pink ostrich birkin from Japan :(
It's amazing. I kept thinking this song refers to a couple problem without knowing it was actually intended to be something different. I am extremely unhappy with my situation. The unhappiness has spilled into other areas of my life where I feel I pretty much lost enjoyment of everything. I detest this house even more than ever. Everyone says no don't worry, when you've fixed it up you'll love it but I can't even begin to think about fixing it because everything about it just makes me sick. It's ridiculous...it feels like I am taking everything for granted. I am so thankful and so blessed, but this pain? This pain I just can't help.
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