magical dreamer

My original engagement ring. Haven't worn it for a while so i decided to store the other one and use this one.  So disappointed in my nail polish, though...started chipping on the same day. It was the salon's own brand and i was warned it would only last a few days. But same day?!! School already went out, but i don't want to talk/think about that.  Had a tiny car accident which damaged my poor car. But i don't want to talk/think about that, either. Just waiting to hear from the insurance company. I don't expect them to be fast or anything...  

I weighed myself today and I am .9 kgs less than the last weigh-in. It's a start. I feel enough is enough and it's time to see something change and I'll do everything I can to make it happen. Tonight I'm having trouble sleeping because I have some acid reflux and I'm craving some quinoa. But I will not be giving in to the cravings. I'll have quinoa tomorrow with one of my meals perhaps, but I will avoid everything that makes me binge-eat. No more biscuits and chocolates. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. Going to have to make sure I don't eat anything I'm not supposed to. It will be hard but prior to getting married, I could always keep myself in check even in special events. It was only when I got a bit older that I started binge-eating whenever I met up with my friends. The title of the post refers to my semester. I don't now what's going to happen with the remainder of my assignments and projects, but I do hope I do enough to pass. At ...

This subject has the following remaining: -Classwork assignment -Case study 1 -Quiz retake -Case study 2 -Final project And then the final exam on the 23rd or 24th of July. Not much left only 3 weeks!! Gotta work hard so I can earn my freedom!

I've realized lately that when something upsetting happens, especially if it's at school, I fail to write about it. I just feel like I want it to pass like business as usual. I don't want to feel the pain anymore. But this time I think I should write about it because I'm not going to get closure anyway. So yesterday, I had a business plan presentation. My final final thing for my capstone project. I was new to the group and new to the professor but I feel I was prejudiced as the "late-comer" even though it wasn't my fault. I mean, I never defended myself because I didn't want to appear as if I were blaming the university administration when I know that given what they do, someone unrelated would have to shoulder the blame knowing completely it wasn't their job. So instead of defending myself and attacking the university, I stay silent so I appear as if I deserve being called the "late-comer". I had gotten approval for my business pl...

I have: -An assignment -A case study -A quiz -A business plan All due within the next 10 days. What have I been doing today? Playing wow.  My tummy bloat is giving me extreme discomfort at the moment. It's almost as if my stomach is so used to being bloated that when I haven't eaten and it's not bloated, it hangs forward like an apron and hurts me at the top of the stomach. Maybe I should get the advice of both a dietican and internal medicine specialist before having my abdominoplasty. 

I no longer wish to put in the full effort. I can't take the disappointment. All the pain, the emotional burden, the time I spent not giving my kids the 100% they deserve and I end up with the bare minimum in comparison to others. This has been one of the worst decisions I have ever made and I can't wait for it to be over.

Feeling hopeful. My midterms just finished and one of my subjects only has 2 sessions remaining. Then I'll only have one class per week until the end of July. It'll be perfect time for me to go back to the gym and relax a bit before I graduate.  That's not to say that my remaining subject is easy breazy, it'll take a lot of work. But at least I'll be able to do it without stressing over several subjects at once.  I think pushing the surgery until September is better so that I can have the summer free to spend with my kids. We aren't taking any holidays but that's fine, we need to settle into a routine that has no interruptions. They can help me reorganize the house, or destroy it after I've organized it whichever perspective you look at it. 

Although my course load has decrease tremendously this semester... why do I feel my pressure rising? Is it because I'm THIS close to the finish line and at this point there is no way not to feel pressure? I miss when I was a graduating student last, when days were good and full of sunshine and happiness. I miss my life.

I didn't weigh myself yesterday because I completely forgot. I was so busy I overslept and missed my class this morning and I feel so bad about that.  I also feel bad about everything I ate when i had dinner at my mom's today.  Just need to get serious now... it isn't smart what i'm doing. wish i didn't miss the class...

I can't believe it's been 20 days since I last posted. I have been really busy with my school work. My holiday was partially spent on school work, but it still wasn't enough. I am probably going to fail 1 subject out of 4. One of the others has a presentation of a big research that we weren't informed of early enough and I have asked to have mine postponed and be like a re-sit 1 week later but I haven't heard back yet. It's almost as if the professor doesn't even read his emails. It's frustrating. The groups in class all had their work done by people they paid to do it. It's as if plagiarism doesn't have meaning in this school, it really hurts. This is why I opted not to work with any of them because I don't want my name to be stamped on something that I or my group mates didn't do ourselves; especially since I plan to one day go for a research degree so I would never be happy with this. But what's the point if I fail this 2nd subje...

In terms of school... finish up my remaining research and study in order to be done with my semester by the end of April. No travel plans for May so i can just relax until my summer semester starts. Probably can properly toilet train/enfroce toilet training for my daughter.  In terms of my body... -Go back to intermitten fasting as soon as we are home from the holidays. -Use the treadmill for 20 mins minimum every day -Add 1 pop pilates video to my workouts every other day. -Record weight once a week Depending on my progress, i will schedule an appointment with a plastic in 4 months. By then I'll hopefully have graduated and can afford to have some downtime. I wont necessarily have the surgery in August...maybe something like September or something. I need to be able to schedule it properly so it doesnt come between launching my own business.  My procedure of choice? Liposuction. Why? Because even when I had a BMI of 18, I still had belly fat. I am genetically dispositioned to...

In 20 days, we are off to London. I'm really excited and can't wait. But I have a lot of work to do and I hope that most if not all of it will already be done. It just feels crazy that I am doing 4 courses this semester with barely enough time to cover the work that needs to be done. I also don't want to sacrifice on my time spent with my kids and my workout time (because it keeps me sane). Had to take my car to get some minor repairs done and now I'm driving the family car again. I've been spoiled with my 5 camera parking assist on my audi that it seems parking without it is next to impossible. Really hoping it's not gone too long but I guess I could use the practice.

Week by week I keep saying this week I'll go to class prepared, I'll have everything done before the day comes, everything will be fine. But it never is. It NEVER is. What is wrong with me?

So apparently i hurt my back in a rigorous 1.30 minute session of body pump. What can i say...i got a bit too excited. but in my defense there weren't many choices of what weights to carry so i always ended up carrying heavier than lighter.  i did decide though that i'm not too fond of the evening crowd to be honest... the kids are still home from school but i'm still keeping them home tomorrow so i could go out. been feeling so down lately i just need to do something out alone. the precious group i went out with just made me feel worse.  bleh...thinking of not going to uni tonight...i can't believe i'm still a student. but i can't give up now. only 2 more semesters at this rate. 

It appears I've responded to the amount of pressure I've been under by being on holiday mode; as have my classmates- or some of them at least. But I will study. I should study. My daughter's nursery sent home a teddy bear with her last weekend and apparently it's a class thing where every child gets to take Mr. Bear home with them one weekend. There was a scrapbook in her backpack that I guess I am supposed to add pictures of her with Mr. Bear from. The scrapbook was really lovely, I enjoyed going through it with her and having her point out the names of her friends. But there were at least 2 children that she didn't know. Oh yes, I haven't posted much about my car! The 2016 Audi Q7 is an absolute dream to drive. I'm very pleased with it. I don't think I want to drive anything else now after I've been spoiled by this car. Here is an interior shot from earlier today.

I am going to make a list of things for me to get out in the world because I can't keep them inside any longer: My work for finance doesn't seem like it will end any time soon.  Instead of losing weight, I am gaining it. The worst week in the world to start potty training my daughter but I am going to try my best to keep it laid back  My marriage is, well.... nothing to say here. My back hurts more than ever. I want this semester to end already!!

I'm so frustrated! Today I found out that my first final exam is actually THIS THURSDAY! It's crazy! We were supposed to have a weekend! But at least things will be over sooner?

I can't believe it's been more than 2 weeks since the last time I posted! It feels like people who keep personal blogs like I do are probably those who are still living in the past, when everyone had a blog and the only drama was blog drama, lol. At least I'm thankful for the lack of drama. My car is here, and I can't believe I've had it for 2 weeks. Most days I'm glad to have it but then come these other days where I feel so lazy but at the same time very overwhelmed by the responsibility of driving and ensuring my passengers reach the destination safely. I know it is probably a weird thing to think about but I just can't help it sometimes. Only one more week of classes left. Finishing off my projects and presentations little by little. Thankful for the progress I've made. Saw a pic of this LV purse on Instagram a few days ago and find it really adorable. It is the Palm Springs backpack in the mini size. I am not much of a backpack person but st...

I had a sad day yesterday. The dr. said our project is too vast and that he would like to see it reduced to something smaller so that we can actually do some analysis that everyone would understand. It made me upset because the project is about my father's office and at first he seemed really bored with it (the dr that is). Then it turns out that he actually worked with my father in the past and said that their IT at the time was actually the most advanced in the city...this was back in '96. I told him that my father passed away in '04 and since then there hasn't been many advances done. I feel so embarrassed that I shared that in front of the class. They now all know something personal about me and it upsets me. It also made me realize I miss my dad so much.

So this is the other car that I am somewhat interested in. The Mercedes-Benz GLE, which is also a 7 seater. I tend to always go for navy blue, maybe I am hoping that my dream car will be navy blue. The Mercedes-Benz interior is absolutely amazing. I would not have even considered it if it hadn't been for how amazing it looked. I love the design of the leather seats and the color of the wooden trim. It's just so stylish! We have a group presentation today and I just wish we didn't have to present.