magical dreamer

- I'm broody and want another baby, but feel like the time is not right. How does one balance between the right time and the inherited feeling of broodiness? - I want to have a tummy tuck still. I want to feel beautiful. - I think I may need to go on anti-depressants again.

Netflix wouldn't load at all last night so I ended up watching comedy on instagram until very late at night... don't know how i didn't wake up hubby and the kids. Tomorrow at noon I'll be going to the gym since I didn't get a chance to go today. Then on Tuesday morning I'm going to see my obgyn to get an opinion on the level of abdominal separation that I have and what a pregnancy would do to it, and ask if she's had moms that gave birth after having a tummy tuck and how that worked out. I'm having a yearning for another baby...I don't think I can wait a few years...

My daughter is sick and I don't know what to do. She's not so sick that she needs to go to the emergency room, even if we do go I doubt we'll be seen. But she's been throwing up and now she's asleep. She keeps complaining of tummy aches and crying. I think I'll keep her home from preschool tomorrow and take her to the outpatient clinic in the morning. We've just switched to new IKEA toddler beds today. M's asleep so she didn't realize, R however, is still trying to climb up his baby bed which makes me sad. Did I switch him too soon? I felt like he as unhappy being in a baby bed... M was unhappy even younger than him, and for her it was the right decision. Did I make the wrong choice?

Today I did some hiit on the treadmill and then some pilates even though i had a headache but i'm glad i forced myself to push through it. my belly is deflating but i'm still planning to see a plastic surgeon for a consultation next week to figure out my options.  Decided to get my kids matching beds, which means my youngest will no longer be in a baby bed. if i have more babies in the future (which i do hope & pray that i do) i dont think i'll get a convertable bed again.  My sephora order arrived in record speed and i'm very pleased. can't wait to use this mask. happy it comes with an application brush!  

I tried to write this post perhaps 3 times, something always happens and I end up abandoning it without saving. Commuting home from class right now and my kids are wrecking hovac at home. I have way too many deliverables to submit this coming week and don't know how I'm going to give them any attention. i feel so guilty for doing this. they came with me to a business meeting this morning though...and dd wanted attention so much that she kept screaming at me while I was in mid conversation with the people I was hiring. hopefully this means she's used to being the center of my world? wanted to post my bag of these days. or well, the last time I used it was the first time I attempted to write this post. it's by mark cross and I purchased it in late 2015. planning to acquire another bag by mark cross, maybe the one that looks like an old hat box. I really love the vintage feel of these bags. it feels like there's a history behind them.