magical dreamer

I have to admit something bad. I've been eating a lot of cookies this past week and it makes me feel so awful. Solution? Maybe cutting out things like cookies/pasteries needs to go at a slower pace than the other things. I rarely have other cravings nowadays, it's just the cookies. I'll start with only having 1 day a week where I won't eat a cookie, and allow myself a cookie on a daily basis except for that day, then slowly work it up to 2 days a week. My weight-loss journey is full of trial and error, and I just don't know what to do to create lifelong habits except try different things. I also need to remember that I don't like the way my digestive system feels after binge-eating all those cookies. It feels heavy and I can't stand it. In other news, I managed to blow-dry my hair using a blow-dryer and separate brush- like they do at salons. I never thought the day would come where I'd be able to do this and it feels great. My hair looks better than...

I'm so pleased with my diet progress. I've lost 3 kgs since the beginning of July but it's not all recorded in my weight-loss page. It's okay though...it's all in my gym records as they have the scales that also know body fat and muscle and so on. Would love to be a regular at body pump at least twice a week in addition to my twice a week personal training sessions. Then maybe riding once a week. Increased activity levels will surely help me feel better about myself! I also got a new pinterest account due to the fact that I gave access to some IRL business associates to my old one and I don't feel like sharing my personal life with everyone so, here it is: https://www.pinterest.com/sapphiresandlace/

I just really want to graduate. I can't handle this tension. I want my finals to end once and for all. Someone please knock some sense into me if I ever consider being a student again. This is what my meals have been looking like lately. I love broccoli!   

I weighed myself today and I am .9 kgs less than the last weigh-in. It's a start. I feel enough is enough and it's time to see something change and I'll do everything I can to make it happen. Tonight I'm having trouble sleeping because I have some acid reflux and I'm craving some quinoa. But I will not be giving in to the cravings. I'll have quinoa tomorrow with one of my meals perhaps, but I will avoid everything that makes me binge-eat. No more biscuits and chocolates. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. Going to have to make sure I don't eat anything I'm not supposed to. It will be hard but prior to getting married, I could always keep myself in check even in special events. It was only when I got a bit older that I started binge-eating whenever I met up with my friends. The title of the post refers to my semester. I don't now what's going to happen with the remainder of my assignments and projects, but I do hope I do enough to pass. At ...

I didn't weigh myself yesterday because I completely forgot. I was so busy I overslept and missed my class this morning and I feel so bad about that.  I also feel bad about everything I ate when i had dinner at my mom's today.  Just need to get serious now... it isn't smart what i'm doing. wish i didn't miss the class...

After last night's International Finance class I felt full of hope. I felt that the professor wants to help us learn any way possible. And i have already prepared a daily to do list in order to finish all my assignments in time.  I am not sure if I mentioned my back injury. It was irritated while doing crossfit (first attempt ever) and i had to get an MRI done. It shows that my prolapsed disc is now pressing on a nerve (it previously wasn't) and the orthopedic i saw suggestion i get started with spinal decompression therapy.  In addition, I am planning to see a plastic surgeon asap to talk about what could be done to improve my body. This exercise downtime is going to make it even harder for me to reach my goals. I am a person who was fit and athletic most of my life. I wasn't all cut up and muscular but i had decent muscle gain. i worked out every day of the week. 2-3 times a week at the gym and riding horses 5 times a week. I was disciplined and ate mostly healthy. My die...

I love this cute cat bag from Chanel. I feel like I really want to add it to my collection. Although the pattern is seasonal it's just so cute and it's cats! What more could I ask for? I am really hungry today. I had 2 boiled egg sandwiches for breakfast and a salad for lunch. Right now it's 5.30 and I'm starved. I wonder if I should have a light dinner now before class? The level of hunger I've reached can be quite distracting I believe. And it's not like I'm craving anything specific, so it's not carb cravings or anything like that. Not really in the mood for class at all. I feel down because my summer vacation didn't go as I'd hoped and everything else I'd been looking forward to just went down the drain recently. I don't feel like I have the energy to do anything.

If nothing screams desperate, I do. I've started looking around for meal replacement shakes and found this one from 310 Nutrition . At this point I'm willing to try anything since my weight has stagnated for months now despite my dietary changes and workouts. Been feeling really down about it. Thinking of ordering these and seeing if they help. I already never know what to eat for lunch so I figure if I have one in the morning and push my breakfast to lunch and have a salad at night it might work? 

I am so determined to lose weight. My belly feels hideous...i feel hideous. I lost weight and regained fitness much faster after having dd even though after ds I went back to the gym 6 weeks after the birth. Ds is now almost 18 months and I'm still overweight, still have a belly hanging and fat all over my body.  Tired of seeing slow or no results. People say it's normal but it's not normal for me. After dd I saw quick results in 4 months whereas right now I have a much better level of fitness. I wonder what's causing this? The bc pills? the anti-depressant? The asthma medication I went on for a month in April? I have no idea. Guess it means whatever the reason I just need to work harder to get past this. 

I'm on a diet but there are yummy things on the table next to me! Will I be able to resist by the time the weekend ends?!

A few days ago my sister invited me for a mani pedi & henna. I had no idea what I would want to do for henna though so I looked up something and made adjustments to make it simpler.  I've been scared and overwhelmed by the prospect of dieting and losing weight. But I've decided to take it one day at a time and I won't be strict to start with. My main concern at the moment is upping my water intake. Once that is under control I'll make little changes here and there. I don't want to decrease my carb intake too drastically as it seems to have a huge effect on my energy levels. One day at a time. 

It was only recently that I started getting into Celine bags. Sometimes I feel bad about liking/wanting bags but it's the same as anything else...the same as wanting/liking jewelry, shoes or clothes. And I only splurge on them after all our necessities have been purchased/paid for. I've decided to reduce my course load for this summer. It just felt like I am struggling to manage. There's simply no time. And I also want to make sure I spend time with my kids every day especially since my husband is away.  There isn't much time for me to exercise till the end of the semester and I'll just have to accept it. But I wish it means that I'm reducing my bad stuff intake but it doesn't. I wish I could go back to eating healthy and eating well. My main meals are actually okay. I often have cheese and turkey sandwiches or boiled egg sandwiches and they are quite filling. My lunch and dinner consists of some form of protein (chicken or fish) and raw vegetab...

Apps that sell you stickers. You end up buying more than you could use! I was trying to eat and drink healthy...but it's not really working out that well. My semester is officially over and I got an A in accounting but F in economics. I wonder if that F is the reason my summer semester schedule looks weird so far? I guess by next Monday things should make sense.

Can't believe it's been so long since I've posted, I've been busy and it seems like I don't know where my days are going.  I feel quite hungry, my appetite has been almost nonexistent but now that it seems it's coming back I just don't know what I want to eat and I end up eating chips or biscuits which isn't good at all. Body pump 96 came out and I attended today but I don't like it as much as 95, the tracks just aren't as interesting.  I really miss my husband...he's been able to call lately but still hasn't been able to come back and we don't know when we'll see him again. 

Happy to be back, I've missed my regular habits & meals!

I've decided that I need to make better diet choices already rather than wait till we go back home. It's really difficult because sometimes the grills are too expensive and just some fish and chips are better for the pockets (though I don't enjoy the chips), but at least I did a good job rejecting chocolates and sweets today. But I ate a whole lot of alpen and chewy nature valley bars that were too sweet for me so maybe it wasn't a good day anyway.  I'm torn between wanting to feel pregnant and wanting to have energy to exercise and eat healthy. I hope and pray for a sticky bean.  Bought this toner recently but I can't find the small pack of cotton pads I bought.