magical dreamer

Got this several weeks ago and have only opened it a few days ago. it's a cute pair of shoes in a style i've been interested in since january. but shows the level of interest since i haven't worn them yet. i keep telling myself that i'll stop being sharing. i'll tell people nothing. i'll keep things because sharing only hurts me. but i never learn, do i... there's no one that i havent opened up to about the surgery that i'm not going to do. but i wanted to learn from their experiences if they had them...   

Netflix wouldn't load at all last night so I ended up watching comedy on instagram until very late at night... don't know how i didn't wake up hubby and the kids. Tomorrow at noon I'll be going to the gym since I didn't get a chance to go today. Then on Tuesday morning I'm going to see my obgyn to get an opinion on the level of abdominal separation that I have and what a pregnancy would do to it, and ask if she's had moms that gave birth after having a tummy tuck and how that worked out. I'm having a yearning for another baby...I don't think I can wait a few years...

You really don't know how you would react to a situation until it actually happens. There are thoughts that just make me angry and upset that I can't really handle but then all of a sudden one thing happens and you think it won't undo anything yet you realize that your pain levels have decreased. Nothing will ever be the same, of course, but it's almost as if a shadow that has once clouded yours and everyone else's thoughts has been washed away by daylight. I recently started outlining chapters of a story that I was planning to write. I reached a point where I know more or less what's going to happen, but I've run out of things to outline. I don't want to reach the end yet but I guess this is how stories become stretched out more than you should and it waters down whatever real content they may have. I am an amateur, though, and I don't think anyone is going to read my story. So maybe it doesn't matter? My tummy tuck issue has brought up a fe...

It turns out the reason for my belly looking the way it does, and the bloating after eating and looking pregnant is having separation of the abdominal muscles.  The plastic surgeon said liposuction wouldn't produce desirable results and recommends a full tummy tuck with liposuction of my back. She had originally asked me if we are planning to have more children and I said yes but we've delayed it. We are planning to wait 2+ years to have another child (for other reasons) and she said that should be fine.  I asked if there had been side effects for women who have had babies post tummy tuck. She said for women that tell her of their plans she used disolvable sutures for muscle repair which has not had any side effects. In rare cases where permanent sutures were used, babies have had low birth weights.  I'd love to go for the surgery but there's a lot of things to think about. I need to organize my thoughts. 

My popflex active clothes are here and look amazing! Already thinking of what else i want from there! Everything looks so gorgeous i just don't know what i'd choose! This morning i attended body pump at my gym and it went great! i just kept the weights light and didn't carry the bar on my back for squats. i considered it my workout of the day and didn't add on to it once i got home.  My appointment with the plastic surgeon is tomorrow. i need to write down my questions and concerns on a piece of paper so i don't forget in the moment.