magical dreamer

This is so hard to understand. Will I ever get over the pain of not getting what I feel I rightfully deserve? Will anything ever make up for the way I was treated? When will this ever end? At times it feels like I've gotten over it, like I've moved on, like everything will be okay. Then all of a sudden one day the tape starts repeating itself, the track is on loop and I have no way of reaching the stop or delete button. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be happy? Why is pain overtaking me?

Hmmm...I think my pics lose quality when they go through line camera.  I love going out to eat, but I don't think I'll get a chance to do much of that till Japan in around 4 weeks.  This doesn't make sense, sometimes I feel amazing and that I'm ready to taper off my antidepressant but then something else happens, something small, and I go back to feeling like I need it.  The root of the problem? I want to feel like I am worth what I want.