Society and Other People's Lives
This morning my husband sent me 3 reddit posts. One was about a woman who lost around 22 kilos. I guess to him that's a way of motivating me. The woman looks beautiful in both her before and after pictures. But you know what? Even in her before shot, she didn't have a belly that even remotely resembles mine. I haven't really seen bellies like mine reduce so I don't feel like I have proof it can even happen. So it feels like unless I have surgery, I will always have this mixture of fat and sag and open muscles.
The second post was a cute cat post.
The third was titled, "I look at this picture whenever I feel that life has been unfair to me,". You could probably guess what the picture was. The type of picture that makes you feel guilty for whining about your first world problems. It makes me feel that there is a voice that nags at me, "you have a roof over your head, safety, peace, a loving family, food on the table, you have everything and you still feel that life has been unfair?"
The truth is, I do think of people's situations. I do think of the people that sometimes come home after a full day's work and do not have enough money to feed their whole family so most of them go to bed hungry. I do think of the people that do not even have a home to come home to, but still have a corner in the world that they live in and manage to send their kids to school and feed them. That there are children who do not have parents or anyone to protect them living in societies that prey on their weakness.
However, does that invalidate my voice and my problems? I know for a fact that I have a mental illness. The people in my life exploit it in ways that I can't even explain, maybe some of them unknowingly. I feel that my voice has been dulled down so that I can't even remember if I ever had one. The people in my life have the capacity to be fair to me, but they choose not to.
I am thankful for everything I have been granted. I didn't give myself anything in this world, but it was given to me. And I do know that any of it can dissolve at any given moment like a fleeting dream.
The second post was a cute cat post.
The third was titled, "I look at this picture whenever I feel that life has been unfair to me,". You could probably guess what the picture was. The type of picture that makes you feel guilty for whining about your first world problems. It makes me feel that there is a voice that nags at me, "you have a roof over your head, safety, peace, a loving family, food on the table, you have everything and you still feel that life has been unfair?"
The truth is, I do think of people's situations. I do think of the people that sometimes come home after a full day's work and do not have enough money to feed their whole family so most of them go to bed hungry. I do think of the people that do not even have a home to come home to, but still have a corner in the world that they live in and manage to send their kids to school and feed them. That there are children who do not have parents or anyone to protect them living in societies that prey on their weakness.
However, does that invalidate my voice and my problems? I know for a fact that I have a mental illness. The people in my life exploit it in ways that I can't even explain, maybe some of them unknowingly. I feel that my voice has been dulled down so that I can't even remember if I ever had one. The people in my life have the capacity to be fair to me, but they choose not to.
I am thankful for everything I have been granted. I didn't give myself anything in this world, but it was given to me. And I do know that any of it can dissolve at any given moment like a fleeting dream.
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