magical dreamer

I'm having one of the worst few days this past month. I feel pointless, useless, unimportant, etc. I know the reason for all this but that can't be helped right now. I feel I no longer have the patience for other people to get their crap together in order to make me feel like I matter. I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to have spent my youth on situations that do not appreciate what I give and give nothing back. My weight is not moving but at least I should be pleased that my body is toning up a little. Maybe in a month or two I'll look back and realize that every little step I took actually added up to something in the long run.

I am now downloading Ragnarok Online as we speak. I don't miss the game per se, but more like I miss the feelings it gave me. I miss games with a community. I miss games where everyone knows everyone on the server. I miss my youth. I miss having an online social life. No game has ever made me feel the way Ragnarok Online did.

I am so intrigued by the upcoming fall layouts on Bakery Story that I may go for a fall layout myself sometime during September. Here is my August layout for now:

Just ordered this bag and bag charm from Nordstrom last night. I've been eyeing the bag for a while now and decided to finally order it. I don't trust Nordstrom, though, sometimes my orders get cancelled without good reasons and I am not given any explanations even after calling. So we'll see if it will make its way into my clutches or not!

For some reason, every summer I get in the mood for mermaid themed eye candy. By mermaid themed, I mean, the beach, mermaid scales, sea shells, iridescent silver; somehow they are all things that remind me of my pre-teen days. Back then, however, it was all just called "funky". Don't ask why! I tried to play the new Hearthstone expansion, it actually isn't easy! But at the same time I am not as intrigued as I once were. I still don't want the season to end before I reach the competitive rate that allows me to acquire the month's card back, just in case it's pink and cute. It is almost unbelievable that I kind of want Uni to start already...I'm starting to feel a bit empty...

A small getaway for my hubby & I. Honestly the main reasons are spa indulgences and sleeping in. It is the end of summer vacation and my sleep cycles are quite disrupted as of late. Whenever I get a chance to sleep in, I just do it! 

Hello, my name is K and I am a Victoria's Secret sportswear addict...even when I'm on a trip.  We came to a hotel 2 hrs away for a short getaway since we aren't traveling for quite a while. A told me he might not get a holiday longer than 3 days so there go my Maldivian dreams.  Hearing or seeing anything related to the Maldives causes me to have a little poke in chest. It's nothing big, just a poke, the honeymoon I didn't get to go on, the castle I never competed, the level I could never reach. I have realized now that everyone has something in their lives that causes them that little poke. But my question is, why are some affected by that poke more than others? Or is it simply that some people are more obvious than others? Or that some have gotten so good at hiding the pain that they no longer realize that they have it? 

My FFXIV character, a Raen Au Ra; with the white dragon scales, dancing in beautiful Gridania. I love Gridania, it's one of my favorite cities in an MMO. Alongside Dalaran from World of Warcraft and Geffen from Ragnarok Online. I miss both games but I don't feel like playing too many MMOs at the moment. One MMO at a time is already too much. Someone told my mom that the babysitter has been taking pics of my kids on her phone. I personally have not seen that and I don't know...I don't think it bothers me as much as people want it to. I can't chase down every person in the street that happens to take a picture of something and my kids and I just happen to be passing by. I just can't get myself to care that much. So why does my chest hurt? Is it because people are trying to invoke more drama? I'm so tired of drama.

I want to write. I've been wanting to write for a while. Somehow I feel if I just sit on my idea, it will never hatch. It will never see the light of day. The idea is there and it excites and scares me. But I fear I don't have enough expression and words. It's been a long time since I was able to just put words down on paper and do nothing, I simply sat there holding the pen (or placing my fingers on the keyboard) and the stories would just write themselves. I miss that. I had no fear like I do today. I didn't share my stories with many, in fact, I can only think of 2 or 3 stories that I've ever shared; but I had dozens more written here and there. Sometime between my two pregnancies, I found myself writing again. I didn't know where I was going with my story, but I just wanted to write. I enjoyed the experience so much that I couldn't repeat it. It was almost as if I've already used up most of my writing enjoyment quota and now I have to savor whateve

I'm on a diet but there are yummy things on the table next to me! Will I be able to resist by the time the weekend ends?!

This picture makes my heart sing! I haven't shared my latest chanel purchase yet, but I've been exhausted after my gym sessions!  I really miss watching Gilmore Girls, but I've gone through it from beginning to end so many times, the latest time being quite recent, too. 

My nail polish of the moment. It's not black, it's supposed to be super dark red but appears black most of the time. I like dark nails because I feel it makes fingers appear longer. Still reading A Game of Thrones and really interested in all the new insights it is giving me. Basically all the things the show lacks. In the show you sometimes see a character looking at something but you can't really tell what they're thinking. Or well, maybe others can but I can't. The book allowed me to understand what those thoughts were. Also still have the white and black chanel bag on my mind. It's so lovely I feel I may not be able to resist making the purchase.

Today I saw this wallet on chain from chanel in person and fell in love. I fear I may end up buying it! it just makes me think of vintage bags! 

It's been a while since I've posted anything about Bakery Story. Haven't been too interested in it lately but I still play. I'm about to change my bakery's look so I'll post the current one before the change. I have a craving for some chow mien noodles but I can't make any right now...sigh...and I really miss my hubby.

I decided to have a game plan for the next 6 weeks instead of moping around about the lack of vacation plans.  -exercise 4 times a week -salon or spa once a week -eat a fruit once a day (an attempt to improve my diet) -read at least 1 book per week -take the kids out once a week -movie night once every 2 weeks sounds like I'll be super busy! 

Well...it happened. I got FFXIV and put so much pressure on myself to reach level 10 yesterday. I still didn't get much of a chance to play today but maybe soon. I wish I could go back to Germany instead...I miss walking around the streets, shopping and sitting in cafes. I miss the greenery.