magical dreamer

When I was planning my wedding, I had many anxious dreams where my hair and make up artists didn't come and it was getting late and I was standing there with my dress and undone hair and make up. To make matters worse, a friend (in the dream) was saying, "it's ok let's go get you some make up from the mall!" as if it would help! This time I guess I dreamed because of anxiety towards my sister's wedding. In the dream she & I went out into the venue to make final touches to the decor, but the guests had already arrived (early! hours early!) and again we were wearing our dresses with undone hair and make up. Then all of a sudden I was a tribute in the hunger games and I was worried because I don't know how to use any weapons and "can I just hide in a tree until it's all over??" It's just so bizzare! Not even the first batch of such dreams but the first one relating to my sister's wedding. 

Happy to be back, I've missed my regular habits & meals!

So many things to contemplate. A few things changed in my mind lately.  We've gone to France a few times during our stay in Switzerland. Only a few more days to go but I honestly feel done and ready to go home. M's formula is about to finish...so I have to get her something new here. It was quite a big miscalculation in my opinion but I think we'll be fine. The only brand I saw here was aptimil, and she's had it before when she was 4 months old so I'm not worried about it being foreign to her. She's been eating yogurt and ella's kitchen satchets but we're almost out of the latter.  I had a dream that I am preparing for the arrival of a baby girl. It's kind of surprising as I am 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant. With M at 6 weeks and a few days I dreamed that M was a girl. But the circumstances were different with M. This is what I saw today.

We went and had lunch in France.

I've decided that I need to make better diet choices already rather than wait till we go back home. It's really difficult because sometimes the grills are too expensive and just some fish and chips are better for the pockets (though I don't enjoy the chips), but at least I did a good job rejecting chocolates and sweets today. But I ate a whole lot of alpen and chewy nature valley bars that were too sweet for me so maybe it wasn't a good day anyway.  I'm torn between wanting to feel pregnant and wanting to have energy to exercise and eat healthy. I hope and pray for a sticky bean.  Bought this toner recently but I can't find the small pack of cotton pads I bought. 

There are so many things I'd like to do to keep myself busy, rather than worrying about things that I feel that I'd like to have but can't. The simple truth is, even if I didn't have the current obstacles I'd have other ones. This is what I believe.  In other news, I'm pregnant! 

Always find the strangest things! 

Whenever I think of how I there aren't any more Rainbow Rowell books to be read, I feel so sad.  I'm excited about going to Europe but nervous at the same time. DH isn't joining us and I feel so guilty. It would have been better if we had just taken a trip just the 3 of us...though DH & I just took a late honeymoon in June, it made me so happy.  So nauseous these days though it's probably more diet related than anything.